Admire actions above appearance

Where I ended in “The problem isn’t pretty pink princesses, but what becomes of them” stopped short of describing how I might interact with a charming little girl (whether in a pretty pink princess outfit or not):

So the next time I see your daughter, please understand if I don’t immediately comment on her adorable outfit. I’m probably debating whether to reinforce her perspective-taking, self-regulation, or cognitive flexibility.

Thankfully, Lisa Bloom (author of Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World) shares a lively account of how she would do exactly that in her essay, “How to Talk to Little Girls.” Quite simply, here are her guiding suggestions:

Ask her what she’s reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? …ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? … Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.

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3 thoughts on “Admire actions above appearance

  1. Pingback: More meaningful interaction, less labeling | mindmannered

  2. Pingback: Empathizing with actions above appearance | mindmannered

  3. Pingback: Pink as cultural construction | mindmannered

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